Friday, February 15, 2008


HEY! I am on Oprah today! Well, in the audience at least...
Here's what I wrote about it (last week... oops forgot to post it)

Last wednesday we went to the Oprah show.
Talk about a well oiled machine.
It was so interesting to see how it's all done. I could have just sat there for hours watching the director and crew and Oprah relaxing in between camera time. The Oprah-bot actually does turn on and off but in a way that preserves her energy for the camera. She just has it down to such a “t” or rather, an “o.” Well she should seeing that she's been doing it forever.
I was hoping the show would feature celebrities. No.
I was hoping to see Nate. No.
... it was a fashion make-over show.
BUT, at the end of the show, all the ladies who participated in the makeovers got $400. shopping sprees. And as the audience politely clapped for them, Oprah said, “and you're all getting one too!!!” The place erupted with screams of happiness. I like screams of happiness.
People just assume now when going on Oprah that you are going to get something.
It's fun to “win” something. Oprah rocks.
The show will appear next wednesday so squint and maybe you will see me. We were on the right hand side which would be oprah's stage left.
The set is TEENY!
First of all you wait for about two hours. Then you are ushered into the set.
A woman comes out to warm up the audience. Yes, we actually practice screaming and hollering and ooing and ahhhing.
People are buzzing about and then in comes Ms. Winfrey. “Hi!” she says strolling in casually, taking us all by surprise. The place goes psycho.
People are SO damned happy to see Oprah. But then she IS the queen of the world.
So odd to hear her voice in person. Such a familiar voice.

For whatever reason, let's just say it's a “rob dorn reason..” I call Oprah, “Kreesha Freesha.” The Kreesha thing makes sense because it has an ethnic ring to it, and “freesha...” well, that just goes so well with “kreesha” doesn't it? So that's what bubbled out when I came up with a nickname for her. And I didn't intentionally give her a nickname, it just occurs.
Throughout the years, I have given many people I admire nicknames... here are some of them:

Helen Randle... family friend. When I was ten and she was thirty-something, we hit it off and became bestest freinds. I have always loved her like crazy (I need to call her). Anyway, I gave her a long nickname based on all the people I thought she looked like...
“Dorothy Helen Annette Jackie O Randle”

My niece Maggie... “monkey bubble” (again... don't ask because I have no idea... I channel these names, remember.)

Debbie S (a first girlfriend... don't laugh) “Dubba” (that was an easy one)

Barb Black (high school bud giganticotis) “Flarbie”

Judy Lemke... it wasn't really a nickname, but when I would be going over to her house (I was five) I would chant, “dump dump JUDY! dump dump JUDY!!”

Jody Briskey... worked with her for years with “Three Hits and a Miss.” I started calling her “Lady” based on an edith ann (lily tomlin) impression. She didn't quite get that it was lily tomlin and would call ME lady too. Pretty soon EVERYONE was called Lady. I even called the audience lady once, during a moment of exhaustion on stage.... we were touring EVERY mid-size town in the country and I mean EVERY single one. This was somewhere between Nebraska and Texas I think.

Jason... Jeebs. I'm Dornie and he's Jeebs. Sort of comes around full circle with that one. I love that these names just BECOME your new name. I like nicknames. Nice ones. I won't reveal some of the evil bad Kharma nicknames I have given people over the years. I have to lay off as I am attempting to cleanse my aura... I'll let ya know when I come clean.