I have hatred in my heart.
Sad, I know.
This hatred is for cel phones.
Remember when we were all tethered to the wall when we chatted up somebody.
That was the only way.
Remember sitting on the kitchen counter wrapping the very long kitchen telephone cord around yourself as you talked about who you liked better, Mary or Rhoda...
Now, we are permanently in EVERYONES kitchen.
The elevator. A kitchen.
The subway train. A kitchen.
Any street corner. One big outdoor kitchen.
Talk, talk, talk... blah blah blah...
letting us know more about you than we ever want to know.
Being ASSAULTED by how stupid your life is. Atleast from YOUR end.
Isn't it just terrible how in the middle of a conversation, the other person's phone rings and they pick it up. Oh excuse me. I like your kitchen. Who are all these people in your kitchen? How many phones do you HAVE in your kitchen.
And that stupid ring... you know the one, “da da duh da / da da duh da / da da duh duh dahhh!”
Anyone who has that ring on their phone needs to be put on a big boat and sent somewhere.
(Do you know which one I mean?)
This miserable woman on the train today offered one complaint after another to her cohort on the other end of the line. She of course talked very loudly. She of course sat right behind me.
She was just complaining about EVERYTHING. It was a laundry list of negativity. The subway was too hot. If she didn't sit down she would faint. The train was taking too long. There were too many people on the train. And as she was just about to get off the train she said, “ucchhh! This heat is going to kill me.”
“We can only hope!” I thought but then realized I had said it aloud. She didn't hear me. But the people around me cracked up. We were all in on how annoying she was. And she was.
Telephone booths... ghostly almost. Useless. Young children walk past staring... “what's that Mommy?” An elderly woman stepping inside to take a pee. “Oh golly... thought it was a porta potty... thought it was kinda nice to have a phone in there too! Not very private though.”
I admit, I have one. I use it. I like the convenience of being able to talk to someone. But I also like to ignore it.
Today, some young dude was listening to his phone like it was a boom box. Out of the teeny little speaker, it blasted as loud as it could some kind of hip hop rap thing. They guy was actually jamming to it.
Unbelievable.
Let's turn them off. For a week.
We would all regain our sanity I can guarantee it.
And we would have ALONE time!!!!!!!
And we would actually have to TALK to people face to face.