Monday, August 04, 2008

Fasting? I prefer Frosting.

After a week of eating up at Dairyman's in Wisconsin, I felt I wanted to rejuvinate.
I decided to go on a fast.

Not for religious purposes, but for health reasons, just wanting to take this 40-something old body of mine and give it a tune up. I did some research and from several legit resources found that the “Master Cleanse” would be a good way to go... so to speak.

I researched online, went to the health food store and bought a pamphlet about it. Basically, for ten days I was to live off of a concoction of organic lemone juice, grade B maple syrup and filtered water... with a pinch of cayenne pepper tossed in. I was to just drink this about six or seven or however many times I felt like it a day. Basically whenever I was hungry. I read that this combo actually gave me all the nescessary nutrients while throughly cleansing my innards. Yay!

I really thought I could do it. This is what stopped me...

Every morning I was to give my body a salt water bath... internally... by drinking 32 ounces of lukewarm water with two level teaspoons of sea salt or course salt.

I sipped. Yep, salty alright... kind of like drinking sweat... or worse.
I gulped hoping to get it over with asap.
This is pretty much absolutely GROSS!
The 32 oz never seemed to end.
I began to think to myself:

Only two teaspoons? This sh*t is potent.
This might as well be pee. I am drinking pee.
Ten days.
Some people do it for 40 days.
People are stupid.
My innards aren't all that junked up.
Cheetos COULD be a food group.
Stanley Burroughs (creator of the Master Cleanse) is crazy.
At first I thought of Edgar Rice Burroughs AKA author of Tarzan.
Tarzan's hot.
Tarzan would NEVER drink salt water.
Me Rob.
Me drinking icky.

So there I was bloated from salt water, feeling like a beached Sea Lion.
And thus decided to NOT do a ten day fast.

I did learn some good things from this though.
It isn't nescessarily a bad idea to have a tonic of lemon juice sweetened with maple syrup (two teaspoons of THAT and not SALT).
Honey is actually not as good for you as you would think. (Something I read in the pamphlet. Hey, I paid $6.99 for it, I'm gonna believe it.)

Ideally, I would like to do a cleanse... I like the idea of it. I DO think it could be beneficial. But I am going to wait. Do some more research.
Anyone got any bright ideas?
I went to DQ yesterday.