Monday, April 07, 2008


Cleaning the house is dangerous.
I think I am just going to stop cleaning altogether.
I was using the upright vacuum. I had the hose attach and stretched just a bit too far and the vacuum came down on my big toe. I mean, it came down smack and hard as a hammer. Hollered. It hurt but then you just breathe through it and the “stubbed” toe pain goes away... but not apparantly when a vacuum cleaner is involved.
I am on day two now of major toe pain. “Toe Pain Poisening” your might say.
A very lovely shade of green gleams from behind my toe nail (that I pray does not fall off... that would be just a tad too much like the Jeff Goldbloom remake of “The Fly” for me.

So there I sat upon the couch. It was throbbing. How could NOT moving it at all make it hurt? What was going on in there? All of a sudden just this horrific throbbing pain like someone was twisting my toe off with a plyers. Yeah... not fun.

Jason helped me.
This is what he did.
He gave me a bucket of ice water to soak my toe in.
That I must say is not pleasant.
I have never been one of those polar bear jumping in the lake in january types and could barely barely lower my toe and then foot into a bucket of ice water, with ice floating about and the theme from “Titanic” whispering in my ear. “This is how cold the water was when the people went into the sea.” Yes, these are the things I think about even when in pain.
After a spell, it actually felt good.
THEN it was time to put my foot into a warm bucket of epson salted water.
AH, that sounded nice.
But we didn't have epson salt so Jason put one of those bubble bath bombs into a bucket of what HE felt was warm and I felt was scalding hot.
The water turned greener than my foot and afterwards as I was drying my foot off, I noticed that it was bedazzled with a very teeny tiny glitter. I now had a very sore DISCO foot.

So today, it felt better. But by end of day, I was hobbling home. Ouch. Could barely walk. I felt old. This is “old person” practice. You have to have a lot of patience. A car actually honked at another car to go even though that car was waiting for poor me to cross the street. People are such assholes... and even to US invalids.

So now I sit on the couch. Just having to let it take it's course.
I can bend it so it's not broken. It's more than likely fractured.

I have a fractured Toe.
I want ice cream.
And to EAT not to put on my toe.