So this whole bird flu thing has had me mildly frazzled which basically means I am repressing my sheer terror.
I was talking to Jason and he is pretty certain it is another governmental puppet show to get us to stop paying attention to all the crap that is going on right now.
I hate that.
It is so rude!
RUDE!!!
This is a rude country.
I live in a disrespectful and controlling country with shitty health care and a total big brother attitude and our “big brother” looks like Alfred E. Nieman from Mad magazine but with gray hair.
MAKES THIS ADD RIDDLED PERSON MAD!
I have enough to deal with.
I was explaining how Concerta works to my opthamologist's assistant today. She asked me if it really makes me focus. I told her that what it does is wake you up. THEN you can see how things are truly working and then you have to catch up to get your shit together and focus.
There is a lot of catching up to do. Especially if you are diagnosed thirty years late. No wonder I have BEEN late all these years and FLOATING as my Dad used to muse. What always will kill me is the fact that nobody seemed to really pay attention to how much I WASN'T.
Yes, I know, it's all about me. Me, me, ME!!!! But I have to say that it HAS to be in order for me to get my shit together. I always knew that I had to do this and I always knew that it was percieved as being self absorbed (hence my clever little title) but it's true. In order to stay afloat I HAD to be self absorbed. The danger in this is building habits based on this desperate inward battle. Once you step outside with the KNOWLEDGE of what is wrong with you and you take the meds to get the dopamine flowing you have a lot of garbage to pick up.
And in the midst of my garbage hauling, I have to now worry that I will catch the flu and die.
Gee, thanks.