I saw an interview with Rosie O'Donnell last night on Elizabeth Birch's talk show on Here TV. I used to not like her. I realize now that the reason I didn't like her was that I envied her in that she was so open and strong and powerful in a good way. She didn't care what anyone thought of anything that she did. She is a WONDERFUL role model. Just think she is the shit.
I was in therapy yesterday and we were talking about my fears of becoming someone who speaks his mind. “I don't want people to think that I am an asshole” I said and then the lightbulb came on and I realized that as long as I cast that version of myself as an asshole, I will have every excuse to NOT be assertive and remain passive aggressive, toxic and sad.
Speaking of toxic, since I have begun the clean up of the toxic relationships in my life, the good people of my world are popping up all over the place! For me too, the toxic people are few but they are so toxic to me that they weigh heavily down and throw my life out of balance. This is what happens when you allow these kind of people to govern your life. But I had and have lessons to learn and so the instructor I chose to teach me toxicity in your fellow man is someone who is BRILLIANT at it. Such a wolf in sheeps clothing. Such a relief to finally be seeing the light at the tunnel I have been digging myself out of.