I am a negative person. Some people would think, “NO! Not you, you always seem so cheerful and ‘up’” Yes, manically, I can be that way. But I do dwell on the negative and it is catching up to me. Jason points it out. He wants me to write down five things I am grateful for everyday. The first thing I think of is, “eew!” I like to think of the good things in my life, I have GREAT things in my life. But they are blurred in the cloud of negativity I usually dwell on.
I don't know why I do this. I want to say that it is a family trait. I want to say that it runs on my Mom's side of the family. My grandmother always was negative. The negative Walledom side of the family. But that I think is distorted, just because my Grandma was moody... and she was a Neilson! So it's a negative Neilson thing, or maybe just my grumpy Grandma. My Aunt can be negative too, so easy to focus on those things... her Christmas letters always having a moody melancholy twist... “we got together to bake Christmas cookies... it's the only thing we have that keeps us together now...” What?
So, with it so firmly established within me, I have to combat it. It's like reteaching me how to walk. I want my glass to be half FULL from now on.
So, getting to the list of five things... I could write it down privately, but I feel it to be a stronger statement if I add it as part of my blog. Tell the world... or the three of you who read this... SEE how negative I am?
FIVE things I am grateful for tonight...
Jason, George, Sam, Isabelle and Parker.