Note: I originally wrote this in March of 2003. It is my memory of being gay and closeted in 1980. Ah, how the times have changed...
Forbidden lust. That was what it was. That was what it seemed to be. It was something that I wanted and COULD have but the problem was there never seemed to be an opportunity to DO it anywhere.
My first boyfriend, Jon, it was all about waiting until he was home alone for maybe half hour intervals... yes, it was exciting but it was also scary because if his Mom came home the world would end.
And then there was Kevin. I actually got pretty daring with him, making out in the basement while my Mom was cooking dinner upstairs. That was fun.
But then Don came along and this was THE guy. This was someone I wanted to spend LOTS of time with. All we could ever manage to do was lengthy late night sessions in the darkened driveway behind my house. But we could never truly go the distance. One night when things had peaked to the point of near insanity, we drove around horny and frustrated that there was no place to go. So I had a brainstorm, grabbed a blanket and decided to take him to a spot near my childhood home out in the country up on an embankment by a lake. We drove, parked, grabbed the blanket and happily climbed up the little hill, across the fence and into a smooth and romantic grassy area spreading the blanket out under the stars. This was going to be great. We lay down and began to kiss. Suddenly the promising stillness was interrupted by a flashing red light... cop beams flashing and we both became very quiet.
Suddenly up over the hill, a flashlight. Suddenly the silhouette of a cop like something out of a movie that might have taken place down south. He started walking towards us, his flashlight shining in our startled eyes.
I actually told him that we were studying for an astronomy class. (In actuality I was TAKING an astronomy class.) The cop told us to get up and we followed him dragging the blanket behind us as we climbed back over the fence and stumbled down the little hill.
The cop looked at my ID. Ok. Fine. Then he looked at Don's and suddenly had him up against the car and was searching him. You see, to add to the luck of our evening, another person named Don with the exact same last name (kid you not) had JUST escaped from the Elgin State Mental Hospital. Yes. This is true. I am not making a bit of this up.
Ok whatever, mental patient, being searched, whatever... I was more freaked out that we had been caught, two boys and my brother WORKED for the Carpentersville police and would more than likely hear about this. But the cop wasn't saying anything. He didn't seem to think that it was unusual that we were studying for an astronomy exam. (Gee... did he actually buy that?) His tone of voice and manner didn't seem to think he expected we were up to ANYTHING. And so learning that my Don wasn't the crazy Don, he gave us back our ID's.
“Thank you officer.” I said much more nervously than I had planned. (“Phew... great!”)
“Ok fella's” the guy said, “you can go.”
And then...
“... Oh, and by the way, why don't ya go find another place to get to know each other better.”
Shit!
©2006 Rob Dorn